Misread autistic behaviour: Psychiatrist explains why silence or bluntness is not always rudeness

New Delhi: Autism is often misunderstood when it comes to social behaviour. A blunt remark, a sudden exit from a gathering or a lack of eye contact is sometimes read as rudeness or indifference, although the reasons behind it can be very different. Social awareness in autistic people varies from person to person and depends on communication ability, stress, sensory comfort and the support available.

In an exclusive communication to News9 Digital, Dr Minny Jain, Senior Consultant, Psychiatry, Apollo Spectra Hospital, Delhi, explains how autism affects the reading of social cues, whether autistic people recognise the impact of their actions, how sensory and emotional differences shape interactions, and why families should look beyond assumptions. Read here.

Understanding autism and social awareness: What families need to know

Autism and social cues

Explaining how autism affects the reading of social signals, Dr Minny Jain said, “Autism can influence how a person interprets facial expressions, tone of voice, body language and unwritten social rules. Some autistic people find indirect hints, sarcasm or ambiguous emotional signals difficult to interpret, while others understand them but need more processing time. These differences do not automatically mean a lack of empathy or concern. Recognising someone’s feelings and knowing how to respond are separate abilities.”

Highlighting why misunderstandings arise, the doctor added, “Social understanding varies considerably between individuals and situations. Misunderstandings can also happen because non-autistic people misread autistic communication. Clear language, explicit explanations and respectful conversations help both sides understand intentions rather than relying on assumptions alone.”

Awareness of behaviour in autism

On whether autistic people recognise when their actions are hard for others, Dr Jain said, “There is no single answer that applies to all autistic people. Many recognise when their words or actions upset someone and may feel considerable distress about it. Others may not immediately notice subtle reactions or understand why a particular interaction was uncomfortable.”

Advising on how to respond, the doctor said, “Awareness can depend on communication abilities, experience, stress levels and how clearly feedback is given. Someone may also recognise another person’s discomfort without knowing what response is expected. It is helpful to explain the specific impact calmly, rather than label the person rude or uncaring. Social understanding should be assessed individually, with space for their perspective and intentions.”

Sensory processing and communication in autism

Speaking about communication and sensory differences, Dr Jain said, “Communication differences may include a direct speaking style, difficulty with conversational timing or reliance on non-speaking forms of communication. Sensory sensitivities can make noisy, crowded or brightly lit settings overwhelming, reducing the capacity to follow conversations. Some autistic people also find it difficult to identify or regulate emotions, particularly under stress.”

Cautioning against judging responses to overload, the doctor said, “Overload may lead to withdrawal, reduced speech, a shutdown or a meltdown. These responses should not automatically be interpreted as deliberate misbehaviour. Social interaction becomes easier when others allow processing time, reduce sensory demands and accept different communication styles. Understanding the context is more useful than judging behaviour alone.”

Support for autistic people

On whether awareness can grow with help, Dr Jain said, “Yes, many autistic people can strengthen their understanding of social situations when support is personalised, practical and respectful. Clear explanations, visual examples and discussing real interactions can help connect an action with another person’s response. Speech and language therapists can support communication, while psychologists may help with emotional understanding, anxiety and coping strategies.”

Highlighting the aim of such support, the doctor said, “Occupational therapists can advise on sensory needs and environmental adjustments. Support should reflect the person’s goals, age and communication preferences. The aim is mutual understanding and wellbeing, rather than forcing eye contact or suppressing harmless autistic traits. Families and peers also need guidance to communicate more effectively.”

Autistic behaviour: Guidance for families and caregivers

Discussing why families should not assume intent, Dr Jain said, “Interpreting autistic behaviour as intentionally difficult can obscure unmet needs and lead to responses that increase distress. A person who leaves a gathering, speaks bluntly or struggles to respond may be overwhelmed, confused, anxious or communicating differently. Families should consider sensory demands, pain, fatigue and communication barriers before assuming motives.”

Stressing that boundaries still matter, the doctor said, “This does not mean ignoring the impact on others; boundaries and safety can be addressed through clear, compassionate explanations. Listening to the autistic person helps identify useful adjustments and support. Understanding behaviour builds trust and makes it easier to resolve difficulties collaboratively, while blame can discourage communication and seeking help.”