Kerala’s Mini Cooper crash: Mental health expert’s take on impact of overindulgent parenting
Published: October 13, 2026 10:25 AM IST
Updated: October 13, 2026 10:34 AM IST
A distraught father recently confessed his helpless frustration over his 16-year-old son’s rebellious and defiant behaviour. “I buy him the most expensive shoes, give him high-end mobile phones, and fulfil every single wish he has. Despite receiving so much love, why is he acting like this?”
This parent belongs to a modest middle-class family that lacks the financial flexibility to splurge on lavish teen desires. Yet, they stretch their limited resources thin, misinterpreting indulgence as true parental affection. Dr CJ John, Senior Psychiatrist at Kochi’s Medical Trust Hospital, explains the impact of overindulgent parenting on children.
Creating false realities with money you do not have
A growing number of parents mistakenly believe that love is demonstrated by fulfilling every material desire or providing gadgets that allow their children to show off in front of peers. By doing so, parents construct an artificial lifestyle detached from their family’s actual social and economic reality. Attempting to match the opulent lifestyles of wealthy classmates instils false pride in young minds. Children should grow up aware of their family’s real struggles. Shielding them from reality by spending money one does not have corrupts their core outlook on life.
Does wealth justify unlimited entitlement?
Even when parents have ample financial means, giving lavish gifts without considering necessity can permanently damage a child’s character. In the recently notorious Nedumbassery incident in Kerala on October 11, in which a 19-year-old boy allegedly sped at over 200 km and rammed into a scooter on the Airport Road, killing three youngsters, the accident was on a high-end car his parents gifted him. He was given the car as he was passionate about driving. However, no one seems to have bothered to instil in him basic road sense, empathy for other commuters, or driving discipline.
The result was a catastrophic tragedy. When a youth develops the twisted mindset that their parents will fix any disaster they cause, it highlights a profound failure in character formation. Gifting adult-level privileges to impressionable youngsters creates a delusion of immunity, encouraging reckless actions driven by unearned arrogance.
Saying no is an act of true affection
Parents must understand that refusing unreasonable demands is a vital form of care. Denying inappropriate requests helps children build emotional discernment, while postponing desires due to practical constraints teaches patience and resilience. Giving age-inappropriate gifts distorts personality development, often luring youngsters towards substance abuse, defiance of law, and disrespect for societal values.
When dependent youths receive unlimited privileges
Consider a 20-year-old who depends entirely on his family yet enjoys unlimited credit card limits, premium motorbikes, and flagship smartphones without ever hearing a refusal. Since these luxuries were acquired without personal effort, the youth loses all motivation to work hard or build a career. Instead, such unrestrained indulgence attracts toxic peer groups who exploit the easy wealth. Benefits received without sweat corrupt character. Loving a child without ever saying no does far more harm than good.
How to handle demands from dependent children
Children frequently express desires influenced by social media trends or wealthy peers. Not every wish is necessary, and even valid needs may not be immediately feasible. Parents must evaluate each demand carefully and firmly reject inappropriate requests with clear reasoning. Affection should be built through quality time, meaningful conversations, and emotional connection, not material bribes.
If financial constraints exist, parents should communicate them honestly. Gifts across all developmental stages must remain age-appropriate. When handing over assets like cars, motorbikes, or smartphones, strict usage guidelines must be set and consistently enforced. Simultaneously, dependent children must learn self-restraint, recognising that money is earned through hard labour.
Learning to accept delays and navigate disappointments forms the bedrock of emotional maturity and financial wisdom in adult life. Let the heartbreaking Nedumbassery crash be a stern warning to all parents: indulging children with unearned luxury and zero discipline will ultimately lead to devastating consequences.